l.o.u.d

I have always been a loud girl. Be it when I was younger or now. I still remember when I was small, I used to be the one disciplining the boys in my class. I was in the chinese drama club where I performed live on stage with no fear. When I was in sec sch, I was the monitress who was able to speak louder than the others so that the class of all gals (I dunno why my class was ALL gals whereas my sch's a mixed school) could hear me and zip their mouths. I have always been a happy-go-lucky gal. I enjoy talking to people, I enjoy socialising, I enjoy being in a big group. My friends in poly know me the best. In CADC (currents affairs & debating club) I was one of those character that you wouldn't miss out cuz I laugh loudly I sing loudly ~ I know I'm always the 'clown' in the group(regardless of which groups of frenz I'm with). Wherever I go, I know I would bring in laughters. I am not shy to say that people like my presence becuz I talk nonsense and I influence people to be as crazy as me. I like to make people comfortable by bringing in laughters in the activities. I don't like to sulk my face or throw tantrums or even be skeptical. becuz I believe those arent meant for outings ... not when it is time for fun! I hope wat I think I am is true. Do leave a comment for me if you think otherwise. hehe..

Of course I have friends who told write in my autograph book (when I was in sec 4)

I could hear you even though I didn't see you.

well, so far in my journey in life, there's no problem from others regarding me being loud. Even for the friend who wrote the above to me, I see it as a complement. I see it as he viewing me as someone crazy and jovious who laugh loudly joke loudly play loudly etc. I see it as he reflecting my character and not criticising on me.

How many people can really bring in joy to people around him/her? I ponder.

What sadden me was.. or rather what pissed me off was when there are people in my school who disagree or rather very unhappy with me being loud. maybe not just me but those who are as loud as me. But my point is, why I/we cannot be loud? Is it a crime? Must we stay solemn even in the staff room? Of course as teachers we know how to 'behave' in front of the children and set ourselves as role models. But why is there restriction on us even in the staff room? I tot the staff room is a place where we can have our personal space. I'm amazed by those people who commented at my back about me being loud. I feel so disgusted by such assholes. I mean.. whats their problems? Is it becuz they are not feeling happy so they feel sick to see people very happy? or is it because they are from highly DISCIPLINED organisation whom believe in military ethics? I really hope one day such people will evaporate from the earth. Why make things difficult for fellow colleagues? How to work in environment like that? I always tot this school is different from my previous contract school as most of the colleagues are very nice. Ever since some people (aka assholes) came back to our school, ambience changed. I feel like someone or some people were scrutinizing our work, our words, our behaviour.. and worststill.. our dressing. Ahhhhhhhhhh I feel so disgusted facing such hypocrites!

With such people around me, I feel sick to work in environment like this. Sometimes I wonder why are there bitchy people in every organisation. I think I must take BRANDS chicken essense. Anybody who backstabbing (with the knife flying to my back), I would be able to catch it and throw into the dustbin! ALERT ALERT... HYPOCRITES around the region... I need to stay vigilant!

I, being a stubborn gal, have decided. I dont care what these people think. If they want me to be soft and talk as softly as a mouse, they can just go and die.

I am what I am.

You agree?