~nothing better to do Part 2~

is another 'nothing-better-to-do' day. Woke up at 12.30pm today! On a Sunday after a year of torture, today is a day for celebration! haha... I was kinda charged but when I opened my door, I was kinda sian. The whole house is empty except the sofa smiling at me =_=" Sis went to work and my parents went out hiao. ah... being alone, I am just too lazy to go down to buy food. ate a sardine puff my sis left yesterday. *booo hooo hooo*

Was surfing the usual stuff. Checking out my own blog, checked out my friends' blogs, checked out my friendster and constantly looking at the MSN messenger to see who is online to chat with me (chhhheeezzee I sounded pathetic).

Was browsing thru one of my poly friend's friendster and I'm in despression mood again. She put the highlights of her wedding in her friendster. She did invite me to go but I didn't attend. Upon watching the clips, a part of me envied her and another part of me felt sad for myself. First of all, I dont tink I would have such a wonderful wedding like her. It's like what my bf said, wanna romantically beautiful stuffs really must have money lo. I really agree. Sometimes I cursed myself for not finding a richer man. haha... of cuz thats really material part of me lah. But I mean frankly, who don't look forward to a magical, fairy tale kinda wedding?! *sigh*

cannot compare lah. I also know there are more people arent as fortunate. At least I have found that someone. I know in my heart but some how, I still feel a bit lost, looking at my present state. no house of my own, no money, no figure to get married, no no no. I'm wondering I have to wait till when then that day would be true to me. It's not that I'm eager to get married or any sort. But looking at the character of my bf, the financial burden we both have, I believed we won't plan something like wat my friends did. Ahhh...

****my future is a question mark*****