being cruel...

Being cruel is the last thing I ever wanna hear from someone, esp my colleague. Today was my kids' mock Maths paper. I am the setter. Naturally ppl will comment about the paper. Seriously, I am not that defensive against my paper. This wasnt my first time setting either. However, when ppl has a differernt point of view, I get defensive.

So one colleague of mine was complaining to me about the difficulty of the paper. Seriously I really dun think is difficult. You cannot juz based on ONE or TWO difficult questions and you deemed the paper as tough. So I juz said to her, "Aiya, is juz a mock test. No marks gng to be recorded. Just give them the test and let's see if they can do it."

"Wow, you very 绝 (cruel) leh~!"

Pissed. I am damn pissed. Is not as if I wanna kill the kids. Hey come on. What are we testing them about if I set super easy questions?! What's the point of seeing the kids having 100/100 marks where they dun seems to be able to withstand other tests in near future!? Try looking at the P2 - P6 papers. However, I still keep my cool. No point arguing.

Then, when I went up to the hall for assembly. Saw she and another colleague (colleague B) discussing over my paper. In my heart, I know what to expect. And when colleague B came complaining about the paper, I lost my cool. I became defensive. They feel that we should have exposed them thru practice papers or topical papers or worksheets with such questions if we want them to gear into that mentality. Arghhh... try asking yourselves on the Maths qns you have done so far in your life. Are all questions similar from the textbook? NEVER! most of the time, teachers will teach us the concepts, then we apply. Thats about learning! I'm sorry to be defensive. But I really dun think my paper is tough. If it is really tough, there wont be any 90 over marks scored....but the fact, alot of my kids scored 80 and above. There are so many other questions that are easy esp the problem sums. Why din they see it? I hate it when ppl are being too narrow minded. They didnt look into the whole picture. aiya.. nvm.. I know Im being stubborn and defensive. But seriously.. they cant put on the fact that becuz they nv teach P1 b4. That's crap. I learnt it bit by bit last yr too. AHhhhhh I feel so horrible. It juz spoiled my entire day. Haiz...

I know, whoever see this blog will in turn encourage me and counsel me regarding this. Seriously, those wun help. Is not that Im demoralised or wat, just being pissed. It's not like when you are younger, you dun have to depend on whoever u dun like. At work, things get complicated. Relationship is so impt. Esp in school. Try to imagine you are in bad terms with someone. How to get things done? It sucks.. and I hate such a feeling. Like what my survey test shown, my patience, when it comes to work environment, increased! Damn... so unlike me. :(

I'm tired. I wish I can be so strong juz like Kym, who quitted once she finished her bond. Brave soul! But where to get the $! I cannot do silly thing like this. Sighz... I wonder where has all the passion gone to? Seriously, no wonder so many teachers quitted. The system is driving ppl mad. Is forcing ppl to leave. Is juz too draining...



Another thing that add on my stress. Check out my table. My goodness....is so untidy. I wanna cry... Even though I packed once every week, but is still so messy :(





Time to rest for the weekend. Even now weekend sucks. Is packed with tuition and marking. Ahhhhh. Ppl always think teachers are good becuz of the holiday. Hey! Not in this line dun comment ok. You juz dunno how much a teacher got to do everyday. You juz dunno how many weeks we got to go back to clear the markings and other stupid meetings. Ppl wk 8am to 5pm. We work 24/7. Cannot be compared. Hate such lame ppl. arghhhh

****Sat then Sun..Mon and TUES yeah.. tues is an off day for us****